[It's hard not to spot Thancred whenever he enters the cafeteria. If he's alone, he's always beelining for the bar, his orders always something simple that can be eaten without much fanfare, and always a little somber when reminded of the lack of alcohol.
He spots Shinji skulking through the building as he polishes off his plate sometime mid-day. Oh boy, it's the broody one.]
Ah, so we didn't lose you to the fog after all. Good, I was growing worried.
[ Shinjiro is in and out, really; he doesn't have a set place to hang out, wandering as if it'll figure things out for him, but at least he makes his meal schedules somewhat on time.
This time, though, the place is fairly empty...except for one. The callout makes him pause, turning with a squint before the familiarity clicks. Right, this guy. ]
[It's a while into the evening before Thancred can even slip away from the boarding house. His outfit's completely changed since the horrid events of earlier, now sporting monochrome layers on top and a comfortable fit of blue jeans on the bottom - someone let the final fantasy into the clothing store, looks like.
He's not used to being absent of his normal coat as he strolls around the farther parts of the property, trying to collect his thoughts. Finding someone else this far out, though? That's a surprise, and one that makes him halt in place.]
After letting Strega get away with things that churned his stomach, you'd think he'd be fine. But between the nauseatingly familiar black ooze and watching someone crumble into dust, he's had quite enough of just about everything. He figures nobody will really come out here at this time, which lets him sit and attempt to sort his thoughts.
Unfortunately, he's the king of shit luck. ]
...Ah? [ There's a pause as he takes in Thancred's...everything. Right, he was in the blast zone, wasn't he. ] You supposed to be wandering around already?
[ It doesn't really hit at first, after he wakes up.
It's after dragging himself out of bed and out of the boarding house that it does, halfway down the rain-drizzled road to the infirmary when something starts to...well.
A sunken, heavy feeling settles in his stomach. It's akin to the dread he'd felt on arrival, or the sensation after waking from a nightmare, laying there and staring at the ceiling while his heart races in his chest. Normally, he can swallow it down after a while, slow breaths or willpower boxing it back up on the shelf where he leaves it.
This time, though. It doesn't stop. The sensation crawls up his throat and grips his lungs, stomach twisting as whatever breaths he's having start to come out short and fast. There's always been a dam inside his brain, collecting everything behind it for the sake of himself and others, and suddenly it's just disappeared.
His hands are shaking. He doesn't know why. It takes a moment to even realize the wet stinging in his eyes isn't from the rain, and a sense of disbelief and horror crawls right next to chokehold of panic that has him stumbling and veering off the path towards somewhere else. Somewhere quiet.
It's raining. Nobody will come to the beach, and it's here he drags himself to the edge of the surf and drops to the wet sand to grip his head in his hands while everything in the distance dulls itself to a fuzzy static. There's blood pulsing in his ears, almost as loud as the rapid thudding of his heart and the way his chest shudders.
Maybe if he grinds his teeth enough, it can swallow the way it hurts to breathe. ]
[It's pure chance he spots the teen across the way through the pouring rain. Halting, choking, stumbling and running off. He's too far to call out. So he does what he, unfortunately, does best - he follows. Follows, quietly, to see where the boy is off to.
When he sees that pace run straight to the water, Thancred thinks he may need to quicken his steps. But Shinji drops like a stone, head in his hands - so like the week they'd been wracked with pain - and simply sits there and shudders.
He gives it a moment or two of quiet before approaching the boy from behind, kneeling next to him.]
...Shinjiro. [Quiet, but firm, as a hand settles against his shoulder. Oblivious to the cold and wet of the rain, under numbed hands.]
[ He hasn't felt like this in years. Not since the beginning of October, locking himself in his room for hours until the sun came up, the knocking at his door dissolving into the guilt that flooded his chest and climbed his throat till he choked.
It's back again, but it layers. The fear, the guilt, the uncertainty, they just keep spilling no matter he desperately tries to shove it back in, the welling behind his eyes finally pouring over to slide down his face as the iron grip around his lungs tightens in response.
Shinjiro doesn't see him, or hear him. Hell, he barely even feels the hand that settles on his shoulder, because it feels so far away. He's hyperaware of everything going wrong with himself, and disconnected at the same time, but the sound of his name so close to his buzzing ears has his fingers curling harsher in his hair. ]
Don't— [ The way his own voice chokes in his throat makes him feel sick, with the words so thick on his tongue. ] J-Just— beat it.
[ Leave him be. Don't look at him. He can suffer alone. ]
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WEEK ZERO - TUESDAY
He spots Shinji skulking through the building as he polishes off his plate sometime mid-day. Oh boy, it's the broody one.]
Ah, so we didn't lose you to the fog after all. Good, I was growing worried.
Everything intact so far?
no subject
This time, though, the place is fairly empty...except for one. The callout makes him pause, turning with a squint before the familiarity clicks. Right, this guy. ]
I ain't missing anything, am I?
[ All his arms and legs! ]
Worry about yourself.
no subject
[His fork carefully lowers to his empty plate.]
We never did properly introduce ourselves, after all.
WEEK ZERO - SUNDAY, POST EXECUTION
He's not used to being absent of his normal coat as he strolls around the farther parts of the property, trying to collect his thoughts. Finding someone else this far out, though? That's a surprise, and one that makes him halt in place.]
...Shinjiro? Is that you?
no subject
After letting Strega get away with things that churned his stomach, you'd think he'd be fine. But between the nauseatingly familiar black ooze and watching someone crumble into dust, he's had quite enough of just about everything. He figures nobody will really come out here at this time, which lets him sit and attempt to sort his thoughts.
Unfortunately, he's the king of shit luck. ]
...Ah? [ There's a pause as he takes in Thancred's...everything. Right, he was in the blast zone, wasn't he. ] You supposed to be wandering around already?
WEEK 4. MONDAY
It's after dragging himself out of bed and out of the boarding house that it does, halfway down the rain-drizzled road to the infirmary when something starts to...well.
A sunken, heavy feeling settles in his stomach. It's akin to the dread he'd felt on arrival, or the sensation after waking from a nightmare, laying there and staring at the ceiling while his heart races in his chest. Normally, he can swallow it down after a while, slow breaths or willpower boxing it back up on the shelf where he leaves it.
This time, though. It doesn't stop. The sensation crawls up his throat and grips his lungs, stomach twisting as whatever breaths he's having start to come out short and fast. There's always been a dam inside his brain, collecting everything behind it for the sake of himself and others, and suddenly it's just disappeared.
His hands are shaking. He doesn't know why. It takes a moment to even realize the wet stinging in his eyes isn't from the rain, and a sense of disbelief and horror crawls right next to chokehold of panic that has him stumbling and veering off the path towards somewhere else. Somewhere quiet.
It's raining. Nobody will come to the beach, and it's here he drags himself to the edge of the surf and drops to the wet sand to grip his head in his hands while everything in the distance dulls itself to a fuzzy static. There's blood pulsing in his ears, almost as loud as the rapid thudding of his heart and the way his chest shudders.
Maybe if he grinds his teeth enough, it can swallow the way it hurts to breathe. ]
no subject
When he sees that pace run straight to the water, Thancred thinks he may need to quicken his steps. But Shinji drops like a stone, head in his hands - so like the week they'd been wracked with pain - and simply sits there and shudders.
He gives it a moment or two of quiet before approaching the boy from behind, kneeling next to him.]
...Shinjiro. [Quiet, but firm, as a hand settles against his shoulder. Oblivious to the cold and wet of the rain, under numbed hands.]
no subject
It's back again, but it layers. The fear, the guilt, the uncertainty, they just keep spilling no matter he desperately tries to shove it back in, the welling behind his eyes finally pouring over to slide down his face as the iron grip around his lungs tightens in response.
Shinjiro doesn't see him, or hear him. Hell, he barely even feels the hand that settles on his shoulder, because it feels so far away. He's hyperaware of everything going wrong with himself, and disconnected at the same time, but the sound of his name so close to his buzzing ears has his fingers curling harsher in his hair. ]
Don't— [ The way his own voice chokes in his throat makes him feel sick, with the words so thick on his tongue. ] J-Just— beat it.
[ Leave him be. Don't look at him. He can suffer alone. ]